Lately I’ve been having second thoughts on how I act and feel around people. Not that I think I act stupid or anything like that but I keep thinking “What impression do they get?”
Normally I wouldn’t even care to know but so many things have changed these past couple of weeks. Let me tell you about it!
So my mum has been looking for a new job for about a half year. With no luck she keeps on trying and suddenly she has a new job, a new house, and is ready to move within 14 days. It’s not like I didn’t see it coming; but it came so fast I didn’t even have time to react.
Apparently she’s moving all of my family; my four siblings and herself is now 200 km away from my everyday life. I know it’s a selfish thought but I keep thinking “How could they leave me?” I mean I left them to live on my own with my dad in the city. Mostly because I’m sick of the countryside and I really need to be closer to my school and friends. Still 200 km is a long way to go just to tell your mum you had a nice day. I’m so scared of slipping away from them - both my mum and my siblings.
I broke up with my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) a month ago or so. I had a really hard time doing it but not because I loved him too much; because I was afraid of what others might think of me afterwards. I broke up with him because he was extremely jealous but on the other hand didn’t want to see me in his spare time. That was just too… surrealistic to me.
I got a lot of help and support from a new friend of mine. He stayed up all night with me to comfort me and he told me lots of things which really made me calm down and make the choice I had to make.
The day after I broke up with my ex, my friend told me that he was in love with me and had been it for some time. To be honest I was really happy; he was the one I wanted to ‘be with’ in the first place but I’m kind of shy and my ex was there first. But now it’s a completely different story. I’m head over heals in love with this friend - who is now a boyfriend, not just a friend. I am really happy that I let him talk to me and help me and support me.
I love him so much.
But all of these switching ups in my life (including the thing about being a freshman in high school and all that) has just really made me wonder. Do people think I live in a chaos or have a chaotic life? Do they think I’m messed up because I’m going through a lot of stuff at the same time? I have no idea - and nobody tells me anything.
I just know everything will be ok. I am happy atm, very happy. And I’m a fighter after all - what’s there to loose?
Two days since Christmas eve. In Denmark we open the presents on the 24th (which is, of course, the right way to celebrate Christmas!) and I got loads of great presents! Unfortunately I didn’t get a digital camera so there’ll be no pictures + I promised myself I wouldn’t brag.
So what did I get? I got a make-up box from The Color Workshop with four eyeshadow palettes; each containing six different eyeshadows, two blushes, two bronzing powders, four lipsticks, two eyeliners and two lipliners. I got four new pencils, which was really needed and wanted and I got two pairs of knee stockings and two pairs of socks! Now, these where the presents from my dad. He got me things I’d wished for and I’m really happy that he did; I don’t wish for things unless I really need them.
Moving on - I got a pair of trousers; not jeans, not leggings but trousers. I love them to death! Also I got a top, which I can’t fit and can’t return so instead my mum, who gave me both trousers and the top, promised me to buy a new one that I can pick myself. From my mum I also got a freaking hot bolero with studs and in black denim. Gosh how I love my mums sense of style!
From my sister I got a lingerie set; turquoise bra and thong with zebra stripes and laces in black. I absolutely love it - and so does my boyfriend!
From my other sister I got painting brushes. Now I don’t need painting brushes - mostly because I don’t paint - but she misunderstood my wish. I wished for make-up brushes! Sadly I can’t return the brushes and get the ones I wanted but I’m happy my sister got what she thought I wanted at least.
From my brother I got two hair…things in red, which is my favorite color. Since my hair is still sorta short I won’t be able to use them but I’m glad I got them anyways, because when my hair gets a little longer and starts getting in my eyes they’ll be really useful!
Now from the grandparents I got a gift certificate to H&M, a set with a pencil and a pen, and a cute black dress with long sleeves and a deep turtleneck. My reaction to the dress was like “Whaaaat?” but when I tried it, it looked awfully great and now I love it!
So that’s my presents! No wait, there’s one more…
In Denmark we get Ris A’la Mande for desert, which is a… rice + whip cream + vanilla + cherry sauce kinda thing. Also there’s chopped almonds in it and the one who gets an almond that is not chopped wins a present - and I got the whole almond! The present for that thing (We call it an almond-present) was a box of chocolates - 450 g filled chocolates for me!
So what did you get for Christmas and did you get what you wished for? Let me know until next time!